In Which A Book Makes Me Want To Scrub Myself With Sandpaper

2013-051

Dead Until Dark

Charlaine Harris

I think I need at least five baths and a million showers to feel clean again.

Me, the person who managed to read Anne Rice's strange attempts at writing flat-out porno without batting an eyelash. (To be fair, the Sleeping Beauty series is equal parts awful and laughable. I know I'm not exactly an expert on human sexuality, but I'm pretty sure the human body doesn't work that way.)

Anyway, I was looking for new books to read when I chanced upon the Sookie Stackhouse series. Just in case you didn't know, the series was the basis for the show True Blood. I never did watch the show (I think I saw the pilot but I didn't care much for it) but I figured the books might be light entertainment.

They couldn't be that bad, could they?

Well.

I can't say for sure that the whole series is shit, but the first book didn't really give me high hopes for the rest.

I won't even try to be delicate with this: it's absolute trash.

I understand the need for occasional fluff. I read books that aren't exactly cerebral. I read the Necromancer books, for example. I'm fine with simple.

The problem with Dead Until Dark isn't that it's simple.

It's just… dirty. Not just dirty, you see, but bad dirty.

I'm not exactly a prude where books are concerned. I am perfectly fine with the depiction of sex in literature. I mean, I've read half of Ryu Murakami's Almost Transparent Blue without blushing, and that's a really dirty, disgusting book.

I have a hunch that it's the off-putting way the sex scenes are written that's bothering me. There are scenes that are supposed to be sexy in this book, but the way they're written makes me throw up a little with each paragraph. But I guess I'm not explaining this clearly enough, so let me just give you a straight quote:

“I want to enter you again.”

And then she responds with, “I see what you mean”.

What the actual fuck is that?

Is that really something a proper man would say? Out of context I'd say he was talking about a door. Or a contest. And the way she just goes, well, yep, let's do it is just as frightening.

Again: what the hell is this?

I don't know if I'm getting squeamish, or maybe this book just isn't for me. I was looking for some mind-numbing entertainment but all I got was the need for a nice, hot shower.

That said, would you ever consider reading really bad books, like maybe Twilight? Because I was thinking I ought to continue reading the Sookie Stackhouse series just for kicks or like ironically, but I'm also thinking life is too short for me to spend precious reading time on shit I don't like.

What do you think?

 

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2 thoughts on “In Which A Book Makes Me Want To Scrub Myself With Sandpaper

  1. I wasn’t a particular fan of this first book, either, and did not continue the series. I will say, however, that I enjoyed this book more than Twilight, but also that I noticed an awful lot of plot similarities between those 2 novels. The glimmering vampires, love triangle between a human girl, a vampire, & shapeshifter, and the telepathy element that Sookie & Edward share… There might have been more that I’m forgetting, but as I was reading I began rolling my eyes & thinking it was like Meyer took interesting elements from Harris’ book and made them prudish & boring

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