Gay

I am definitely not the most politically correct person I know. I’m rarely polite at all. But today I felt a bit uneasy at another person’s crass comments; I suppose I’m doubly uneasy because I rarely find offence in offensive statements, and getting offended now seems sanctimonious of me.

Well I’ll let you decide.

So today is the second game of the NBA finals, which I don’t give two shits about. But the pantry at the office has a television so those who do care swarm in and watch. I was having lunch. I’ve heard the usual Lebron jokes. The guys were making the usual “he’s about to choke” comments.

But then this particular guy starts calling him “Gaybron”, and saying things like “he’s about to get all gay again” and “that’s so gay”. He (Pantry Guy, not Lebron) was like that throughout the rest of the game (a few minutes left in the fourth quarter), and I kept fighting the urge to slap him senseless.

But my indignation at his behaviour is something I find sort of hypocritical. I’ve used the word “gay” various times, though to be fair I’ve only ever used it to describe things that are girly and flamboyant. Still sexist, still discriminatory, still wrong – but I like to think I’m not as mean as Pantry Guy. I like to delude myself into thinking that I’m not the worse person in the world. Indulge me.

(Once I had a pink, shiny, clamshell phone. I described it as oh so very gay within earshot of my oh so very gay professor.)

So I don’t know. Am I any better because I use “gay” in a manner that I think is positive or endearing? Maybe it’s like when people think I have kung fu powers because I’m Chinese and they assume that it’s an okay stereotype since it’s “positive”.

I’m confused.

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